Looking down at her filthy fingernails I seriously questioned weather this fat little troll had been in the presence of soap and water this side Christmas.

She demanded again “How much you wanna give me?”  her thick Cornish accent only cut my patience slightly further.


“£10?!  what, for the lot!? No your having a laugh, that one” she says pointing to the Beach Boys Greatest Hits Vol 2 , “that one there sells for £20 alone on eBay”

Then flog it on bloody eBay then you greedy parasite!

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I bit my tongue,

Would £25 buy them?

“No way, you’re way off” sneered the fat women

No way am I’m gonna go up much more…

£40 and that’s me out

She stared at me and smirked

“£100 and you can taken ‘em away”

 Go fuck yourself



Welcome to the wonderful world of buying vinyl…

0D5C9CB6 0C1F 4E9A 9F78 D7566779DA6DArrangements for this viewing had started off harmlessly enough and if you read my Ripping Off Ricky blog post you’ll know my M.O , with regards to background checks.

Where do you live, where do you work, own your own house etc etc etc

This situation at the outset seemed like one of the more pleasant ones, older person, early 60s ,possibly retired seeking to clear some space and make a bit of cash to spoil the grandchildren,wonderful.

My favourite kind of people to buy from as these offer great repeat business for me, I’ll paint you a picture:

2 old friends walking through Tesco spot each other, after chatting about the world for a while one says to the other

“This lovely young man came to my house the other day,very polite and  friendly, we had a nice cup of tea and he took away all my old vinyl records, gave me a good price too, my daughter said he was very fair with me”

My number get passed on and next thing I’m round her companions house looking at her vinyl and the process repeats.

The point is if I’m fair with everyone my reputation stays in good standing and you guys keep getting good quality vinyl and I keep myself poor, everybody wins.

You do unfortunately get the Ricky’s of this world and my moral compass is questioned sometimes.

They sometimes I run into  this sort of person, the absolute worse scum of society!

The befriender of the elderly

Kids have moved away, grandchildren are brought round for granny to make a big fuss over occasionally but the rest of the time she is left on her own  and that’s OK until these parasites under the pretence of “ Only looking out for you” come squirming ino their livessniffing around looking for anything of value they can thieve.4687ADBD CF0E 4C28 9857 766B97DC8EC8

This was this one of these instances

The house didn’t look like it belonged to the woman that opened the door, the grass was neatly cut and it looked like little jobs had kept the place looking ship shape.

The troll in the doorway on the other hand looked disgusting, cheap market stall clothes, stinking of stale fags, her greying hair a mess and eyeing me up with glaring suspicion. 

She’d spent too long fleecing this old bag for some distance relation to come swooping in now to take what should rightfully be hers.

She guides me through the empty rooms of the bungalow until we reach the kitchen come dinner.

Not  a lot here, I mentioned, are you moving?

I unfortunately already knew the answerD868FCFD C1FD 434F A302 CD5D28B05F25

“No, old lady lived her, my neighbour, a really sweet old  thing, I use to looking out for her, make sure she was alright, she’s just gone into a home, such a shame,didn’t want to go, family is selling the house and I’m Helping by selling everything off for them as they live up country”

“I’m giving them the money” she quickly added if almost to make herself believe the lie

She just had that look that tells you the only person she ever “ looked out for” was herself and that every penny so could make from this person life found it’s way into her pockets.

We are standing in a nearly empty kitchen, everything of value has been stripped and all that is left is a few photos album, toaster mugs and assorted kitchen items along with un sellable furniture.

Everything left here has very little value and I feel this pathetic assortment of the previous owners life is destined for the bin the moment I’m gone.

I absolutely despise dealing with this sort of person and if I hadn’t just driven over an hour from St Mabyn to get here I would of walked out in disgust at the situation.

The only way I can feel better about these deals is to completely rip the crafty bastards off, screw the price down so they ends up parting with £100s worth of vinyl for £10 or £20 quid, fuck ‘em I’m not going too see them again, the same as Betty’s never going to see the cash or this “friend” after everything of value is gone.

They’ve wormed their way in to take advantage of a very trusting old person and robbed them blind, why on god’s earth am I ever going to be honest with this kind of parasite!




 Does my conscious bother me?! not for a moment!

If I can fleece these kind of scumbags and pass the savings onto you guys, I will do knowing I’ve done my small part to make the world a slightly better place for us all.

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